I find that I no longer think about things, I think that I have given up - well - I think I have given up in my head - In my heart - well that's a different story - but that story needs to be locked away (for now).
It's the memories of the things we done together that are the most strongest - and I have found that I avoid doing anything that we enjoyed doing together, because I just want to be doing them with her. Whether it's reading through a house magazine and looking at the small little projects, or seeing a photo online and getting it printed and framed, or even going to McDonalds, or one of the local coffee houses.
They say that absence makes the heart grow fonder - This is so true, the more we don't talk, the more I miss her and wonder what she is up to - she has said I can text or email, but saw a couple of things the other day that made me stop and think - they said:
"I want to text you, but I don't want to annoy you"
"If they wanted to speak to you then they would"
It seems like the friendship that we have said we will have is on her terms, when she wants to talk or have a meet over a tea and coffee then she will get in touch, I feel that I get in touch I am just annoying her and that I will push her further away.
I was watching a movie the other day - Pretty Woman - if you must know - and I just wanted to do that final scene - you know the one where he rides in on a white horse to declare his love - Ok, so in the film he arrives in a Limo standing out of the sunroof, before climbing the fire escape to her. I just want to go round, knock on her door and say "I will love you forever, my heart will always be yours, my soul will forever be connected to yours always".
I guess I am feeling a little lost today - you see I had a job interview yesterday - and all I wanted was a text message to say good luck and to tell her how it went.
What does make me wonder though is how true to life "The soaps" are - you know Eastenders, Coronations Street, Emmerdale - you see they all live in these small little communities - people they were once dating they meet with, talk to and stay friends with. But, in real life (well, in most cases) we blank them, forget them and move on.
And, thats my trouble - I can't move on.
The biggest question or dilemma i have every day, is - Are they waiting for me to text, do they want to get in touch or text but to scared too - they want to make the effort to talk, but are just to scared of doing it - and if they are scared - then what are they scared of?
It's the memories of the things we done together that are the most strongest - and I have found that I avoid doing anything that we enjoyed doing together, because I just want to be doing them with her. Whether it's reading through a house magazine and looking at the small little projects, or seeing a photo online and getting it printed and framed, or even going to McDonalds, or one of the local coffee houses.
They say that absence makes the heart grow fonder - This is so true, the more we don't talk, the more I miss her and wonder what she is up to - she has said I can text or email, but saw a couple of things the other day that made me stop and think - they said:
"I want to text you, but I don't want to annoy you"
"If they wanted to speak to you then they would"
It seems like the friendship that we have said we will have is on her terms, when she wants to talk or have a meet over a tea and coffee then she will get in touch, I feel that I get in touch I am just annoying her and that I will push her further away.
I was watching a movie the other day - Pretty Woman - if you must know - and I just wanted to do that final scene - you know the one where he rides in on a white horse to declare his love - Ok, so in the film he arrives in a Limo standing out of the sunroof, before climbing the fire escape to her. I just want to go round, knock on her door and say "I will love you forever, my heart will always be yours, my soul will forever be connected to yours always".
I guess I am feeling a little lost today - you see I had a job interview yesterday - and all I wanted was a text message to say good luck and to tell her how it went.
What does make me wonder though is how true to life "The soaps" are - you know Eastenders, Coronations Street, Emmerdale - you see they all live in these small little communities - people they were once dating they meet with, talk to and stay friends with. But, in real life (well, in most cases) we blank them, forget them and move on.
And, thats my trouble - I can't move on.
The biggest question or dilemma i have every day, is - Are they waiting for me to text, do they want to get in touch or text but to scared too - they want to make the effort to talk, but are just to scared of doing it - and if they are scared - then what are they scared of?
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